In 1983 I was born Kevin Andrew Chmura, but throughout my life I have had a series of nicknames. When I was in grade school my mom called me Kiki – it still makes me cringe to hear that name. When I was in fifth through seventh grade I was known as Calvin. In middle school my name was Muras. Later in high school they called me Kevbo. When I started my fitness company in my early 20’s I was known as Laser. You can always tell at what stage of my life a person met me by the name they call me.
I don’t consider these nicknames as separate identities or an alter ego but more so bookmarks that represent chapters in my life. Who you are as a person is liquid – it’s always changing and evolving and hopefully progressing. As time passes and I live new experiences, I try to enter each new chapter in my life by taking the lessons learned from previous ones and apply them to improve who I am as a person.
When a long term relationship ended in 2006, I started a new chapter as Trent Steele. The name stuck with me because I used to introduce myself as a character named Trent Steele when I went out to meet girls. While most guys lie to women to make themselves sound more successful and appealing to women, I would go out and pick up girls by sounding like a bit of a loser. I’d tell girls that I live in a quiet Chicago suburb with my grandma (well, she lived with me), and I work at a place called custombagels.com. In my conversations, I would tell them that I had just received a promotion. I used to be the guy who takes the orders, now I put in and take out the bagels – it was a big deal. I was just being playful but girls bought it and my friends loved it. So, I became known as Trent Steele.
Although I had been in a relationship since I was 15 years old and now single, I found quick success in dating and women. In fact, I was very successful. I loved being social and I was ready to meet new girls. I seemed to be a natural. Before I was single I remember telling my friends that I didn’t think picking up girls was tough. Turns out it wasn’t tough for me. I started to develop a reputation as playboy.
As a playboy I had typical playboy attributes: a successful business, cash, time, women and brand new bachelor pad. I threw two or three parties a week and partied downtown the other days. It was great! I was living the life. Although, I remember talking to some of my close friends a number of times, saying that I had all the credentials of being a “man.” I was established and had some unique life experiences. I was 25 and had a successful business, employees, taught at the National Personal Training Institute, authored three books, formed a charity organization, drove a luxury car, had a mortgage and I was in the hospital at one point for heart failure. By worldly standards I had lived the life of a man, but I didn’t feel like one. Even though I had all of the stuff and experiences, I was reckless in many respects of my life. Trent Steele was a playboy and a good guy, but he wasn’t a man, let alone a true alpha male.
After a few years, the party eventually came to an end. My company didn’t survive the weak economy and I started on new endeavors like any hungry entrepreneur would. I started a new project writing a book for men on sexual technique – it was something I had wanted to write for a while. I started by brainstorming for three hours, where I only thought about oral sex (my favorite subject), and realized there is so much more than sexual technique I wanted to share with people. So the book evolved into teaching and mentoring men on the art of pick up as well as sexual technique. The Spencer Burnett brand was born.
When I started Spencer Burnett I wanted it to be mysterious and exclusive, you only knew about it if you heard about it from someone “in the know.” The name had no significance (I actually combined the names of two kids that were rivals in third grade). I didn’t want a company name that explained exactly what I was doing. Teaching men techniques to seduce and please women was not something that I wanted everyone knowing. Some people are surprisingly sensitive to it.
As time went on, the business started to evolve. I could see that there was much more to being successful with women than routines, pea-cocking and neg theory. So I got deep. Intrigued. Obsessed. I started studying everything. I read every PUA (pick up artist) book and manual I could get my hands on. I watched and listened to hundreds of hours of lectures. I read relationship books. I studied psycho cybernetics and the law of attraction. I studied social dynamics, and Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). I interviewed natural playboys and picked their brain on how they do what they do. I interviewed dozens of women to gain their insight. I studied the biology of attraction, sexual anatomy, tantric sex and the Tao of sexuality. I coached dozens of guys and dated a pile of girls. From this, I came up with my own theories and philosophies. I tried them out in the field and journaled and documented everything.
What I discovered was all of the rules, tricks and techniques everyone was teaching wasn’t the answer. In fact, at some point they almost don’t matter. I have found out that a lot PUAs are frauds. They are professionals at starting conversations with girls or “picking them up,” but they weren’t getting laid and didn’t have girlfriends. They were successful at getting a number or maybe a kiss that night. The real goal is to have sex or move forward into a relationship. PUAs struggle doing that. They can start conversations but not truly attract women. They spent all their time on learning how to do and say the right things. That’s why they weren’t successful in seducing women. If you want to “pick up” women you need to do and say certain things. If you want to attract women it’s more about who you are. I don’t teach pick up. I teach seduction.
If you know and like yourself and have inner strength, then technique really doesn’t matter. Your frame will exude so much strength and confidence that attraction is automatic and women can’t help but be all over you. Then add in technique and you’re almost invincible and attracting women is effortless. Most men ignore the aspects of inner strength and true confidence. They lack inner strength and integrity, more than technique. This is what stands in the way of having the love life/sex life/dating life that they dream of, and frankly deserve.
As Trent Steele I was a playboy, but I wasn’t a man. I cared more about doing what playboys do than actually being a man – it’s a reckless way to live. The good news is that you can have it all. You can have fun and be respectful and responsible. I created Spencer Burnet for guys that want to be true alpha males and be successful with women. Good women need good men. Ultimately I’m here to guide guys into becoming true alpha males and to represent them appropriately to women (and if I can also help women understand men from a man’s point of view it will be easier for us to meet half way.)
Spencer Burnett is the transition from Trent Steele the playboy, to a man and alpha male that is in control. The turbulent path of my life has led me toward my passion with Spencer Burnett. It’s my ongoing obsession and culmination of experience, education and knowledge that can help men achieve success with women. Although I do teach a good deal of sexual technique and pick up, being a true alpha male is more than that, and that’s where you’ll find success with women and in all aspects of your life.
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