…I guess that’s my fucking problem.
When I use the term “bad bitches”–it’s in a good way.
Let me explain what I mean. I love women with attitude. I love independant women that don’t need a man. Women that have it together and run shit like a boss. When she sees something she wants, she grips it by the neck and shakes it until it submits. She doesn’t take shit from anyone, and is in full control of her heart, mind and pussy. It’s more than just confidence and attitude. I like women that take it a step further- the “maneaters”. The women that bring CEOs, lawyers, celebrities and athletes to their knees. Unfortunately, my relationship with “bad bitches” always end the same–with them going batshit crazy!
I’m inherently attracted to these women because of the challenge. They’re stubborn and a bit snobby. They’re never shy to snap back at you. To other men, they are unattainable. The women, themselves, think they are unattainable. I love when they tell me, “I don’t fall in love. I’m not like other girls that lose themselves in a man.” That combination of confidence, independence and swag is irresistible to me. When I find a beautiful with these attributes my mouth waters.
None of my break-ups are caused by infidelity or a major fight. They all have essentially been for the same reason–the path we were heading as individuals was no longer conducive to my life plan. Essentially the relationship had run its course, and I didn’t think that it was going to end in something permanent or long term. It’s not that I’m no longer in love or even interested, but after a certain amount of time you realize that being together isn’t something long term. That’s what makes my break ups so hard. Sometimes having a serious reason for being apart (cheating, abuse or neglect) is easier because the pain of staying in overrides the love. Although I have great relationships, the break-up process is always the same.
Stage I – “Acceptance”
At first, most of them say they are “cool with it.” That’s some bullshit. They only say that because that’s what a “bad bitch” would say. As time goes on, they start to feel hurt. They look at me for comfort, but I can’t be their comfort. I can’t be the source of their pain and the solution at the same time. Sometimes I try to be. That never ends up well.
Stage II – “Can we talk?”
Within a couple of days, they feel there’s a need for a conversation. They always refer to how much we love each other and what a perfect fit we are together. They tell me that what we have is meant to be forever, and no one could love me like they do. They do love me well but that’s not true.
To every woman, I have ever loved before: Although what we had was special and unique, the love, trust and the vibe of our experience wasn’t rare. In fact, it was created. It was created by us. It was created out of honesty and love for us to enjoy and share. Most men don’t know how to create a series of unique emotional experiences to make a woman feel as if she lives in a fairy tale with a prince (see Spencer Rules: Dating, Seduction and Success for instructions).
Do you know how many women called me after reading 50 Shades of Grey and told me that I’m their “Christian Grey?” More than you can count on one hand. If they didn’t read the book, they end up writing an erotic novel themselves, documenting what it was like to be with me. What we had was special, but any woman that has dated me has the material to write a kick-ass book about it.
Stage III – Tricking me into sleeping with them
This one is classic. When we are dating they all say the same thing: “If we break up, I would not sleep with you. I’m not one of those girls that will give you a ‘Lifetime Membership Card’ of sex with me.” To this day, there has not been one exception. Even my ex-wife begged me to fuck her after we got out of court. They all cave and come to a point where they request my sexual services in order to manipulate me. Request might be putting it lightly. I’ve had them blackmail me into coming over. When I show up, she’s not wearing any panties. When I turn down sex, she literally grabs my genitals and tries to jam them in her mouth. They think that a face-melting orgasm will change my mind, but they forgot–my dick works for me, not the other way around.
Stage IV – Here comes the crazy
At some point you have to be firm and tell them, “No more.” Some resist, some act cool with it, and some go dark for a while. This is only the calm of the storm. This time they are willing to do anything to manipulate me to get what they want. Each girl has her own style. I’ve had girls cuss me out. Others go sleep with a few dudes and then tell me about it. Some follow my social calendar and show up everywhere I go, pretending to support my buddy Xonic (the best DJ/Producer in the city). And that’s only the girls I’ve dated for a few weeks. If it was longer than two months, I get serious crazy thrown at me.
One girl lost a ton of weight, found the new gym I was working at, and got the same job. She changed her career path and wanted to get certified as a personal trainer, which justified study time with me. When I completely ended it, suddenly she wanted to get into another profession. That night, she also wigged out and fucked a dude she met just the day before.
One girl went AWOL and moved out of state. Another booked a flight to move to Australia. One girl stole tens of thousands of dollars, which played a significant roll in my fitness company going bankrupt. One girl literally went crazy. She got kicked out of her house, lost her job, ate a lot of brownies, did a lot of drugs, stole money from me and my buddy, got drunk everyday off of Bailey’s, and got really fat. That bitch also keyed my car.
I had one girl suddenly tell me she missed her period for 3 months. She then refused to take a pregnancy test for another 6 weeks just to keep talking to me. I had another tell me she might be pregnant and told me she was going to take the test, but instead, spent partied for two days. She not only avoided taking the test, but also refused to answer my calls. How is that for a mindfuck? Now that’s some bullshit.
One of my ex’s made a career from me breaking her heart. After I ended it, she shut herself in and wrote about our relationship for months. She documented the details as to what it was like to date Spencer Burnett, the dating and sex expert. She originally wrote it as a memoir and a gift to me, but the experience we had was so captivating that it got published. Now she has a successful career as an errotic novella writer. The thing is, she didn’t even want a career in the dating/sex industry, she would prefer to just write. She built her career to promote The Spencer Burnett brand and support my mission to help people openly enjoy what they secretly enjoy. Although I’m grateful for the passion and effort… that’s still fucking crazy. I do enjoy the book though. I mean, it’s documentation of what kind of lover I am. Shit, it makes my day when someone compliments my hair, so a book is pretty flattering. Be sure to read book two, I’m sure me mentioning her in this post will make it in there somewhere.
The craziest ex threatened to crash her car into a pole, then actually did it. While I was on the phone with her. I heard the whole thing! That’s fucking crazy at it’s craziest but the intensity of what we had was just as crazy. Love is the most potent drug on earth. When you have unlimited amounts and it’s taken from you, the withdrawal can literally make you do things that are outside of yourself. We all have emotions that make us do crazy shit, so I don’t judge these women. It proves the heart always wins in a battle with the brain. Women think act more with their heart than they do with their brain. We are the opposite. Neither is good or bad, just different. In short, feelings need to be taken seriously because if you overdose they make you act like you’re on drugs.
Sometimes I feel like King Midas who wished that everything he touched turned to gold. When he got his wish, he realized that there is a massive downside to that amazing gift. I’ve learned how to truly be myself and build a passionate relationship, genuine deep connection and wild sexlife. It’s great because I fall in love just as much as they do. A few people, including two of my best friends and my parents, tell me that I have to stop allowing girls fall into love with me. I don’t know if I know how. When I try to hold back, I feel like I’m not being myself. I feel disingenuous. They don’t fall in love because I’m mind warping women. I’m just building a really solid and energized connection. For women to truly fall in love you have to be more than skilled. You have to be honest and sincere. If you’re not she will merely be infatuated with you. So that’s the catch 22 of learning true seduction. It’s even harder because I genuinely fall in love with these women as much as they fell in love with me. So separating isn’t easy for me to do either. I hurt like a bitch and sometimes even I act like one too.
After all the bullshit, Things usually end up well. I don’t take anything personally and I understand we all do stupid shit. I’m actually friends with most of my ex’s. If you had a good relationship, you can come back as friends. It takes some time though. It takes time for a whirlwind of emotion and ecstasy that was our relationship to leave their bloodstream until it only resides in their mind as a fond memory. Relationships can cause the most emotional pain in the human experience, but through all of this, I’ve come away with two encouraging truths:
True love comes and goes. Just because it leaves doesn’t mean it wasn’t significant, special or even life changing. Lovers come and go but you don’t find a them by chance. True love and a deep connection can be created. So don’t give up, girls. The intensity of what we had is possible with another. You just have to work at it.
Feelings are real. Understanding social interaction with the combination of creativity and a loving intent is very potent. You have to understand the science and master the art. Most of all, you have to mean it. Even good break ups hurt. So be careful with her heart. You might not want to turn up to 11, but done right, it can serve you in your relationships. Just don’t push it too far, or they might ruin your shit or make a movie out of your life.